Archive for December, 2008

A friend of mine called a little while ago to have a chat, he had just spoken to his son as he does every second day (as instructed by the court) although I know he’d love to speak to him every day.

A nasty custody battle was resolved two years ago after an expensive court battle and yet the spite and hatred rage from his ex-partner continues. She refuses to communicate with him at all making joint parenting impossible. The only communication he gets from her is through their son. She ignores emails, text messages, communication books (as instructed by the court) and any other means he has tried.

On the phone my friend asked his son to check with his Mum if it was ok if he called in the morning to wish him a Merry Christmas, guess what, she said no. He said he could hear the sadness in his sons voice as he told him, let alone feeling hurt himself.

It amazes me that people use children in their battles, that they can sustain the rage and hatred after years and still think that it’s doing someone any good at all.

So much for Christmas cheer and caring about her sons happiness.

Grinch!

What is my purpose?

This is something I really struggle with and I have struggled with over the past decade or more, feeling that there is something inside me, but not being sure what it is or what form it will take, how can I let it out, how I can find the courage to really be the essential me and let it flow .. so many questions and no answers, just more questions.

Is the purpose just to survive, procreate and teach your children. Surely there needs to something more than that, something that needs the supposed unique gifts each of us has – or am I bleating the catholic indoctrination, are my expectations of myself way too high and never to be attained and will I live a life forever frustrated at not succeeding?

It’s not about money, or status, or material goods or any of that. It’s other things – the sense of belonging, of connection, of impact on lives, of love, of challenge, of true friendships.

I am really keen to hear your view on purpose, how to find it, how to have the courage to follow it. Please leave your comments below.

Just another piece of the puzzle.

I went to the funeral of a friend today.

At funerals I can’t help but personalise the experience and imagine if this was my funeral. Not so much about what they would or wouldn’t say, or who would or wouldn’t be there – maybe a little, but more about what sort imprint have I made in my life. Have I made a positive contribution to society? Have I given or just taken?

I don’t have the answer, I just don’t want my time to come too soon, there are too many things to do and experience. Of course that is what my friend wanted, what she would have given for just one more day with her family, another week or so to see Christmas and the smiles and happiness of loved ones being together.

While a sad occasion, it is a time to reflect on the good times and share them with others who I hadn’t seen for a long time and some I hadn’t seen since the last funeral. Surely we are too young to see more of our friends die too young. I am feeling remarkably flat tonight, hopefully tomorrow brings better feelings.

Parkesy, thanks for your friendship, rest in peace my friend.